Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Hunger Pains by The Harvard Lampoon

And here is the link to the trailer. Because it made my day, and I'm hoping it will have a similar effect on you. Slinkies save lives.   


          The Hunger Pains was the first parody I’d ever read. I don’t even know how I came to be reading it Just kidding, I know exactly how: After I had lent my copy of The Hunger Games to my sister (who reads at the speed of ten pages per doctor visit), my mom convinced me to relinquish the book to my sister’s care. I think she was in shock that my sister was reading. For fun. She promised to get me another copy, which was fine with me. The orange juice I had previously spilt on the cover morphed into a stain in the shape of a disfigured pencil and it was really starting to bug me.

          I got the book the day after. The first thing that alerted me that something wasn’t right was the dead golden bird. I could have sworn it was meant to be alive. Then I saw that, instead of the word, games, it said pains. My mom had mixed up the two books. They do look quite alike. I saw it was a parody and thought, why not read my first ever parody? And that, my readers, is how I came to read my very first parody. I bet your “first ever parody” story isn’t as cool as mine. To please Buttitch Totalapathy, I will even bet you on it.

         Kantkiss Neverclean of district twelve, the telemarketing district, has been chosen to be a tribute in the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games along with the doughy Pita Malarkey. The only three people who can possibly get her out alive are Buttitch, Effu Poorpeople, and Cinnabon. Thankfully, Kantkiss has a few... mad skills of her own. A quote to showcase why Kantkiss should be in the running for most badass female protagonist of the year:

       “Here I am, my life on the line, being judged by people who don’t appreciate good theater... Enough is enough. Without even thinking, I shoot an arrow right at the apple in the pheasant’s mouth. I miss pretty badly and the arrow enters the chest of a rainmaker and pins him, dead, against the wall.”

         Most of the parts of The Hunger Pains turned out to be funny. Having random things happen in the context of a favorite book is pretty freaking hilarious. Other parts deserved a well placed facepalm. The Rue part was taken too far into weirdness and the random people dying by explosions got old quickly in the 157 pages of the book. But I did burst into hysterical laughter about every five pages, so.... good show. The Hunger Pains gets three and a half stars.