Seraphina by Rachel Hartman

Summary:

Four decades of peace have done little to ease the mistrust between humans and dragons in the kingdom of Goredd. Folding themselves into human shape, dragons attend court as ambassadors, and lend their rational, mathematical minds to universities as scholars and teachers. As the treaty's anniversary draws near, however, tensions are high.

Seraphina Dombegh has reason to fear both sides. An unusually gifted musician, she joins the court just as a member of the royal family is murdered—in suspiciously draconian fashion. Seraphina is drawn into the investigation, partnering with the captain of the Queen's Guard, the dangerously perceptive Prince Lucian Kiggs. While they begin to uncover hints of a sinister plot to destroy the peace, Seraphina struggles to protect her own secret, the secret behind her musical gift, one so terrible that its discovery could mean her very life.

In her exquisitely written fantasy debut, Rachel Hartman creates a rich, complex, and utterly original world. Seraphina's tortuous journey to self-acceptance is one readers will remember long after they've turned the final page.


Review:

For some reason, I wanted to hate this book so much. There are so many good reviews of Seraphina that I wanted to get the book just to see why everyone else loved it. OKAY, BOOK. YOU WON THAT ROUND.

But even from the summary I was turned off from Seraphina. I don't like music, and it is apparent that music plays a large part in the story. Strike one, book. Two more and yer out.

Strike two: Seraphina has a unique special talent. She has the talent to meditate and see imaginary people in her head. They sometimes try to make her life miserable. What? Her "talent" seemed entirely useless to advancing the plot of the book. The parts when she went to her imaginary people's garden were the parts I grew to dread. The scenes did nothing for the book.

Despite all that, Seraphina coming to terms with her half-dragon heritage and the mystery of the beheaded man kept me interested. That and Orma. Orma, Phina's dragon uncle, won me over. Dragons are required to be unemotional. The dragons fear emotions. Orma cares for Seraphina, but he isn't allowed to show her any love. Dilemmas. How I love them. OKAY, BOOK. YOU WON YER COMPLIMENTARY FOUR STARS.

Seraphina kept up a prickly exterior, and she had to keep it to avoid anyone knowing her secret. I love Rachel Hartman's writing of all the secondary characters. They knew Seraphina was prickly, but they all kinda took in into stride. No one thought she was being mean, and they liked her. That rubbed off on me. I didn't realize it until the middle of the book when the action started picking up, but I actually started to to care about what happened to Seraphina, and I took special interest in her torrid luurve affair with Lucian. OKAY, BOOK. I give up. You win... ALL THE STARS! Five stars.

Sweetly by Jackson Pearce VLOG review

Summary: 

As a child, Gretchen's twin sister was taken by a witch in the woods. Ever since, Gretchen and her brother, Ansel, have felt the long branches of the witch's forest threatening to make them disappear, too.

Years later, when their stepmother casts Gretchen and Ansel out, they find themselves in sleepy Live Oak, South Carolina. They're invited to stay with Sophia Kelly, a beautiful candy maker who molds sugary magic: coveted treats that create confidence, bravery, and passion.

Life seems idyllic and Gretchen and Ansel gradually forget their haunted past-- until Gretchen meets handsome local outcast Samuel. He tells her the witch isn't gone-- it's lurking in the forest, preying on girls every year after Live Oak's infamous chocolate festival, and looking to make Gretchen it's next victim. Gretchen is determined to stop running and start fighting back. Yet the further she investigates the mystery of what the witch is and how it chooses its victims, the more she wonders who the real monster is.

Gretchen is certain of only one thing: a monster is coming, and it will never go away hungry.

Vlog review: 

Fhew... I think it took me about seven tries to even get the video sounding THAT coherent. I should stick to writing. Nevermind... I've just realized my blog posts sound EXACTLY like that. I'll better stick to thinking. Everything makes sense inside my head as opposed to outside my head. 

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

Summary: 

Surrounded by enemies, the once-great nation of Ravka has been torn in two by the Shadow Fold, a swath of near impenetrable darkness crawling with monsters who feast on human flesh. Now its fate may rest on the shoulders of one lonely refugee.

Alina Starkov has never been good at anything. But when her regiment is attacked on the Fold and her best friend is brutally injured, Alina reveals a dormant power that saves his life—a power that could be the key to setting her war-ravaged country free. Wrenched from everything she knows, Alina is whisked away to the royal court to be trained as a member of the Grisha, the magical elite led by the mysterious Darkling.

Yet nothing in this lavish world is what it seems. With darkness looming and an entire kingdom depending on her untamed power, Alina will have to confront the secrets of the Grisha…and the secrets of her heart.

Review:

Ravka is fun. 'Tis "the place to be." Even in the prologue, the fairy tail vibe of Shadow and Bone is what sucked me in. Leigh Bardugo's third person narrative in the prologue set up the base Alina and Mel's relationship well. They are the only two people who's got each other's backs in a world that isn't so friendly. 

The magic of the Shadow and Bone  is fresh; it's the best out of a fantasy novel I've read in a while. I love all the different tiers of Grisha, and the lore they have about "small magic" and especially the Shadow Fold's creepiness. 

Mel, Alina's luuurve interest, started out okay. In the first half of the book, he never seemed to give a bother about Alina, and that bothered me. When they met up later in the book, he became one of my favorite characters. In the time they were apart, he had grown into a stronger person. He was sadder because he had lost so many friends, but he knew Alina was who he wanted which was a change from the first chapters. 

Alina's character development was great, too. I love when at the beginning of the book, a character's really weak, but then they grow up and turn badass. Alina was pretty whiny at the beginning. I started wanting to slap her in her little pale, sallow face. I get it, Alina. You're ugly as a walrus. An ugly walrus. There is nothing wrong with that. She, thankfully, stopped complaining eventually... but that was because she transformed into a pretty person. 

A lot of emphasis in the book was placed on beauty. Alina's main argument for why she couldn't be an actual Grisha was because she was ugly. I can understand not liking your looks, but by the fifth time she complained about it I was getting exasperated. 
Shadow and Bone gets four stars. Despite me hating on Alina's sulky attitude, the book kept me interested enough to read it in two days. I may pick up the sequel, but I'll get it only in paperback form. 

ya 2 you because I love you... TEAM DURHAM

I am happy. Y'know why? THIS.

Why has no one else done this before? It's BRILLIANCE! For those whom haven't heard of the most amazing contest yet, where ever gets the most entrees gets authors. The authors whose books are pictured above will get to have the authors come TO THEIR TOWN. (If you can't tell, I'm fangirling just a tad.)

I'm going to try and get my school library to carry a few flyers, and my NC peeps should totes try that out, too! Sadly, I live in a smaller city where not many teens I know like to read. My town could win, I guess, if only one person from each other city voted. Ha. My fate rests completely with the big city Durham/Raleigh kids. DON'T LET ME DOWN.

BUT. BUT. There is a second contest, too. Almost as exciting as the first. Almost.

Spread the word, and there is a chance to... WIN EVERY BOOK ABOVE SIGNED.

So, especially any *EHEM* lovely NC bloggers *EHHEMM*, ENTER!

Wow. That was the most caps lock I've used in a while. Who am I to break a streak?

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  

2013 books I need, like, now

First off, Happy 2013!

I compiled up a list of drool-worthy YA books I need to read coming out this year. So. Here. I shall share it with you all:

Nobody

• There are people in this world who are Nobody. No one sees them. No one notices them. They live their lives under the radar, forgotten as soon as you turn away. 
  
  That’s why they make the perfect assassins.
  
  The Institute finds these people when they’re young and takes them away for training. But an untrained Nobody is a threat to their organization. And threats must be eliminated.
  
  Sixteen-year-old Claire has been invisible her whole life, missed by the Institute’s monitoring. But now they’ve ID’ed her and send seventeen-year-old Nix to remove her. Yet the moment he lays eyes on her, he can’t make the hit. It’s as if Claire and Nix are the only people in the world for each other. And they are—because no one else ever notices them.

It's coming out January The only other book I've read by Jennifer Barns is Every Other Day, but I loved how she managed to make the paranormal unique while still having vampires in the story. Nobody looks really good, too! (Anyone else thought of Dawn Undercover when reading the summary??) 

The Indigo Spell

• In the aftermath of a forbidden moment that rocked Sydney to her core, she finds herself struggling to draw the line between her Alchemist teachings and what her heart is urging her to do. Then she meets alluring, rebellious Marcus Finch--a former Alchemist who escaped against all odds, and is now on the run. Marcus wants to teach Sydney the secrets he claims the Alchemists are hiding from her. But as he pushes her to rebel against the people who raised her, Sydney finds that breaking free is harder than she thought. There is an old and mysterious magic rooted deeply within her. And as she searches for an evil magic user targeting powerful young witches, she realizes that her only hope is to embrace her magical blood--or else she might be next.
  
  
  Populated with new faces as well as familiar ones, the Bloodlines series explores all the friendship, romance, battles, and betrayals that made the #1 New York Times bestselling Vampire Academy series so addictive—this time in a part-vampire, part-human setting where the stakes are even higher and everyone’s out for blood.

It's out in February Do I have to even explain myself with this one? 

Pivot Point

• Knowing the outcome doesn’t always make a choice easier . . .
  
  Addison Coleman’s life is one big “What if?” As a Searcher, whenever Addie is faced with a choice, she can look into the future and see both outcomes. It’s the ultimate insurance plan against disaster. Or so she thought. When Addie’s parents ambush her with the news of their divorce, she has to pick who she wants to live with—her father, who is leaving the paranormal compound to live among the “Norms,” or her mother, who is staying in the life Addie has always known. Addie loves her life just as it is, so her answer should be easy. One Search six weeks into the future proves it’s not.
  
  In one potential future, Addie is adjusting to life outside the Compound as the new girl in a Norm high school where she meets Trevor, a cute, sensitive artist who understands her. In the other path, Addie is being pursued by the hottest guy in school—but she never wanted to be a quarterback’s girlfriend. When Addie’s father is asked to consult on a murder in the Compound, she’s unwittingly drawn into a dangerous game that threatens everything she holds dear. With love and loss in both lives, it all comes down to which reality she’s willing to live through . . . and who she can’t live without.

Out in February   Nevermind. I don't like vampires anymore. I like Searchers. 

Mind Games

• Fia was born with flawless instincts. Her first impulse, her gut feeling, is always exactly right. Her sister, Annie, is blind to the world around her—except when her mind is gripped by strange visions of the future. 
  
  Trapped in a school that uses girls with extraordinary powers as tools for corporate espionage, Annie and Fia are forced to choose over and over between using their abilities in twisted, unthinkable ways… or risking each other’s lives by refusing to obey.
  
  In a stunning departure from her New York Times bestselling Paranormalcy trilogy, Kiersten White delivers a slick, edgy, heartstoppingly intense psychological thriller about two sisters determined to protect each other—no matter the cost.

Out in February...again Oy. This reminds me.  I still need to get Endlessly.  Sigh. I love Kiersten White's writing SO MUCH. 

Why must everything good come out in February? WHYYYYY? 

There are much more awesome 2013 books, but I don't wanna post my whole freaking wish list. (It's a big list.)

HAPPY 2013!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tokyo Heist by Diana Renn

Summary:

When sixteen-year-old Violet agrees to spend the summer with her father, an up-and-coming artist in Seattle, she has no idea what she's walking into. Her father’s newest clients, the Yamada family, are the victims of a high-profile art robbery: van Gogh sketches have been stolen from their home, and, until they can produce the corresponding painting, everyone's lives are in danger -- including Violet's and her father's. 

Violet’s search for the missing van Gogh takes her from the Seattle Art Museum, to the yakuza-infested streets of Tokyo, to a secluded inn in Kyoto. As the mystery thickens, Violet’s not sure whom she can trust. But she knows one thing: she has to solve the mystery -- before it’s too late. 

Review:

There aren't many stand-alone mystery books in YA, are there? 

Well, if Diana Renn's Tokyo Heist is any indicator, more mysteries are needed. Immediately. Or maybe just more of her mysteries. 

It is annoying to no end when a mystery book's mystery doesn't make sense. (Cough... PLL... cough... HACK...Such guilty goodness...) You know what I'm say'in/ insinuat'in: 

*SPOILER ALERT*

Why would Ali's killer be someone that the readers already know? Why give clues to whom the killer actually is? That's too boring. Wait. I know! Let's throw in a random evil twin sister halfway in without notice and see where the tide takes us! Yay! 

*All is well and spoiled* 

For those of whom averted their eyes at the spoils, what I'm trying to say is that I want a plot twist I can see coming. Ack! That sounds horrible. What I'm really saying is that I want plot twists... not plot zig-zags. I want where the story is going to make sense! With Tokyo Heist, I couldn't always fully grasp where the mystery was heading, but I could most of the time get an "something's not right" feeling and always look back and see how the plot got where it got. 

Violet is a protagonist I really loved. Yeah, sometimes her manga and Japanese-culture obsession got on my nerves, but only because she took it too far on occasion. I was about to jump in the book inception-style to beat her up after about the tenth time she complained about not having the Japanese word for courage.  Most of the time, though, I loved it. She had a unique passion, and she stuck to it. Her devotion to her manga tied in well with the missing art; seeing how Renn made Violet's passion help her solve the crime was delightful.

Tokyo Heist gets four stars.

It's been a while...

Hey. Hai. Hello. Ola. Prevyet. Gutentaug.

     It's been a while. A year, actually. Okay. So maybe when someone asks me how much longer I'm going to take putting make-up on,* and I reply "a while," no one expects me to take a year. Me taking a year might even surprise some. Some.
    As ya'll probably don't know, I started high school last year. I don't know how I got the notion,** but I felt so under pressure that adding blogging to my plate would've cracked the plate. I tried some blogging last year, but blogging isn't much fun when it's eight at night I just got back from tae kwon do, and I have an AP history paper due the next day that I haven't started yet. I only did book blogging because I liked it. There is no point to posting reviews if it causes more stress than happiness.
     My plate feels light enough for this right now. I forgot how much I loved it until I wrote a review of Angelfall for my school newspaper. Newspaper reviews are pretty to put on book covers, but writing online reviews gives me much more needed freedom. No one expects you to be so annoyingly formal all the time online. "Readers will enjoy Penryn's quick wit and kick-butt style." Nope. Not cool.
    Anyway, I have SO MANY AWESOME BOOKS TO REVIEW! (See? So cool. So casual.)
    Some of the books I need to get to include these beauties:

• Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo 
• Tokyo Heist by Diana Renn
• Break my Heart 1000 Times by Daniel Waters

And so much more I have to find and dig out of the corner regions of my poor overstuffed bookshelf. 

Bye! For now! Post again in a while!

 Ha. No. I'll post back in less than a week.

(Now that I'm back on here I've realized that my profile picture looks nothing like me. Huh. Whatever. I'll fix it later.)


*Just kidding. I don't wear make-up.
**Yes I do: It was all that freaking messed-up YA contemporary I read in middle school. Thanks, Courtney Summers, thanks Laurie Halse Anderson. You guys are awesome suck. Plus the combined effort of all the middle school counselors telling us that we would either fail at high school or have no social life. Thanks. Again.

Under the Never Sky by Veronica Rossi

Summary:

Since she’d been on the outside, she’d survived an Aether storm, she’d had a knife held to her throat, and she’d seen men murdered. This was worse.

Exiled from her home, the enclosed city of Reverie, Aria knows her chances of surviving in the outer wasteland—known as The Death Shop—are slim. If the cannibals don’t get her, the violent, electrified energy storms will. She’s been taught that the very air she breathes can kill her. Then Aria meets an Outsider named Perry. He’s wild—a savage—and her only hope of staying alive.

A hunter for his tribe in a merciless landscape, Perry views Aria as sheltered and fragile—everything he would expect from a Dweller. But he needs Aria’s help too; she alone holds the key to his redemption. Opposites in nearly every way, Aria and Perry must accept each other to survive. Their unlikely alliance forges a bond that will determine the fate of all who live under the never sky.
In her enthralling debut, Veronica Rossi sends readers on an unforgettable adventure set in a world brimming with harshness and beauty.


Review:

     
         This Coke Zero commercial sums up my thoughts on Under the Never Sky pretty thoroughly. Thank you, Coke Zero.

         I only got UTNS at first because it was at the library. When I saw it on the self, just sitting there all new and shiny, I was excited. I wanted to read a book with a bunch of positive hype, and there it was! I was afraid of buying it on my own because I didn't see the "and?" factor that I so love in post-apocalyptic novels. So what? Who cares if your world has been ravaged by storms that have decimated the population? And? You live in a bubble and he lives on inhospitable land? No. It's hard to find a big enough "and" to stand out when being compared to post-apocalyptic "and's" like love is a disease (Delirium) or 24 kids killing each other in an arena (If you don't know this one, the rock you are living under is currently residing in deep space. Might wanna get that checked out.).

             I saw no mind-bending post-apocalyptic concept that would've drawn my attention in. That's okay. Enclave by Ann Aguirre survived with characters I cared about. That was Enclave's "and" factor. Aria and Perry were not characters I really even remotely liked. Aria spends the whole first part of the book complaining about everything. The POV was split between Aria and Perry, which meant I was super-duper lucky. I got to read Aria internally complain from her POV, and Aria externally complain from Perry's POV. Then something happened. Perry complimented her. That was it. No more complaining after that. After that she becomes a badass. No more prompting necessary.


             Major confusion. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. Perry and Aria's relationship proceeds much in the same manner. The first half of the book, the "loving" couple did nothing but hurl insults at each other. Aria was the talkative one, always trying to strike up a conversation. Perry stays dead quiet except, you know, the insults. After Perry compliments Aria on her badass manner of trying to save Perry with her dying self (Turns out to just be her first period. Lovely.), Perry stops with the insults. Aria still held up the brunt of the conversations they have. Most of their attraction was made out to be physical. Perry sniffs Aria; Aria kisses Perry. BAM. And a soul-mate was born. I almost wanted to say WOAH, GUYS. REMEMBER TEN PAGES AGO WHEN YOU CALLED PERRY A SAVAGE? Remember Perry barley said fifty words since? (You badass. You smell like pretty flower.) I felt like they built their relationship more on proximity than any kind of good chemistry.


          Just because I spent the last three paragraphs trashing everything about Under the Never Sky, from the annoying characters, to it not meeting my twisted expectations calling for about twenty-threeish children to die on a televised event or whatever, doesn't mean it was a complete loss. The world the book is set in was pretty amazing to read about. The descriptions of the tribe Perry lives in, and the virtual Realms Aria spent most of the book lamenting about not being there made me want to visit their messed up world. Not all of the characters were a total loss. Roar was the side character who made the last half of the book better then the first. He becomes a problem when I like him better then the two main characters combined. I would be ecstatic if Veronica Rossi wrote a book about Roar and his own killer forbidden romance with Perry's sister.

         My point is, Under the Never Sky is plain Coke. Three and a half stars. It was good enough for a rainy day, but it was not Coke Zero. It was a dog with a helmet on a skateboard, cool on its own, but it preformed no tricks. It was pretty good on its own, but I don't think I'll be picking up the sequel.

        I hope the Coke Zero analogy made as much sense to you as it did to me when I woke up at two o'clock in the morning with the uncontrollable urge to write "Under the Never Sky = Coke" on a post-it note.

John Dies at the End by David Wong

Here is the link to the Goodreads page with the picture of the cover. For some reason, probably the new Blogger template (Seriously? I need to download Google Chrome for it to work? I barely have enough space as it is.), I can't publish anything with photos. Sorry for the picturless post!



Summary:

STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.



Review:

John Dies at the End is one of my favorite books—probably making the least sense—I have read in 2012. I had never before with a book wished that the pages would flow slower or tried to read in small intervals to make a book last longer. The plot was second in importance when compared with the voices and humor of JDatE’s characters. I think no other book would have accomplished getting me to laugh out loud during a fetal pig dissection (thankfully, I had the option to opt out), while also making me mistrustful of the dead pig because possibly the pig’s internal organs might become external and explode when trying to kill me. Here’s the quote that let me know I needed to buy John Dies at the End immediately because a Kindle sample just wouldn’t cut it:

“Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.”

David Wong, also the pseudonymly named author, is an amazing narrator. He has the whole “So. Paranormal stuff. That’s really weird. And it kinda sucks. Let’s go kick a meat monster’s butt. *Insert funny penis joke here*” vibe going on. It’s not every day you encounter that vibe from anywhere. JDatE has it down to a freaking science. The tone wasn’t so serious that the book lost its whimsical vibe, but the funny narration was presented in a way that the scary things going on still seemed real and scary enough.

Five stars.

Regular posting and SPOLIER ALERT: John Dies at the End

Hey.


          It’s summer—in case no one noticed. It being summer means there’s no more school. There being no more school translates to no more homework. By no more homework I mean no more biweekly history assignments on writing, just an example, two page essays analyzing the significance of Justinian and Theodora’s mosaics. It was pretty cool to figure out I had it in me to prattle on about the significance of Justinian’s height in relation to his followers for half a page, but that prattle didn’t leave me much opportunity to do much else. Now that summer, the time of abundant free time, is here, I can go back to reviewing the normal at-least-one-every-week way.

            And—omg—I have read SO MANY good books. SO MANY. One of the books just happens to be John Dies at the End by (pseudonym) David Wong. I’m planning to review it later in the week, but just one post does not express how much I fell in love with that book. No, it needs... one post... PLUS A COUPLE OF SENTANCES. So... here it is! Yay! SENTANCES. Yeah. I’m planning on saving most of my hard-core fan-girling for later.

       And here is the link to the movie trailer for John Dies at the End if the below Youtube video is acting not nice. Only the best books get made into real live movies. Remember that.




P.S. Does anyone know how to see something embedded in an online photo? There is a alternate reality game going on the JDATE (Ha! Best. Abbreviation. Ever.) website that allows people to see a preview of the next book. Of course, only the computer savvy are open to such an opportunity. Seriously, what normal person knows what embedding is? Let alone how to see iHAIL KORROK.

The Hunger Pains by The Harvard Lampoon

And here is the link to the trailer. Because it made my day, and I'm hoping it will have a similar effect on you. Slinkies save lives.   


Review:

          The Hunger Pains was the first parody I’d ever read. I don’t even know how I came to be reading it Just kidding, I know exactly how: After I had lent my copy of The Hunger Games to my sister (who reads at the speed of ten pages per doctor visit), my mom convinced me to relinquish the book to my sister’s care. I think she was in shock that my sister was reading. For fun. She promised to get me another copy, which was fine with me. The orange juice I had previously spilt on the cover morphed into a stain in the shape of a disfigured pencil and it was really starting to bug me.


          I got the book the day after. The first thing that alerted me that something wasn’t right was the dead golden bird. I could have sworn it was meant to be alive. Then I saw that, instead of the word, games, it said pains. My mom had mixed up the two books. They do look quite alike. I saw it was a parody and thought, why not read my first ever parody? And that, my readers, is how I came to read my very first parody. I bet your “first ever parody” story isn’t as cool as mine. To please Buttitch Totalapathy, I will even bet you on it.

         Kantkiss Neverclean of district twelve, the telemarketing district, has been chosen to be a tribute in the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games along with the doughy Pita Malarkey. The only three people who can possibly get her out alive are Buttitch, Effu Poorpeople, and Cinnabon. Thankfully, Kantkiss has a few... mad skills of her own. A quote to showcase why Kantkiss should be in the running for most badass female protagonist of the year:

       “Here I am, my life on the line, being judged by people who don’t appreciate good theater... Enough is enough. Without even thinking, I shoot an arrow right at the apple in the pheasant’s mouth. I miss pretty badly and the arrow enters the chest of a rainmaker and pins him, dead, against the wall.”

         Most of the parts of The Hunger Pains turned out to be funny. Having random things happen in the context of a favorite book is pretty freaking hilarious. Other parts deserved a well placed facepalm. The Rue part was taken too far into weirdness and the random people dying by explosions got old quickly in the 157 pages of the book. But I did burst into hysterical laughter about every five pages, so.... good show. The Hunger Pains gets three and a half stars.

Freshman Year and Other Unnatural Disasters by Meredith Zeitlin

Summary:

So, let’s say you’re fourteen years old and you live in New York City.
(Well, technically you live in Park Slope, Brooklyn, which is very close to and almost just like Manhattan… except not.) You’d think your life would be like a glamorous TV show, right? And yet...
You don’t have a checking account, much less a personal Black American Express Card. No fake ID, either – not that you’d pass for 21 in a million years even if you did. The only couture in your closet is a Halloween costume your mom made out of an old laundry bag when you were eleven. You’ve never been to a club, or had a drink served in a martini glass or, frankly, done anything really NYC-ish at all.
You definitely don’t have any secret powers, or friends who are vampires, or magical weapons stored in your parents’ basement. You’re about as normal and totally boring as a human being living in the most exciting city on the planet could possibly be.

In other words? You’re me: Kelsey Finkelstein.
But don’t despair, people—I’m starting high school in less than a week! This is going to be the year that I live up to all of my untapped potential—finally.

I have to say… I’m feeling almost optimistic.



Review:

       I underestimated Freshman Year and Other Unnatural Disasters. Pretty stupid for a current freshman herself, eh? I thought it was going to be a randomly forgettable, cutesy freshman novel. I was hesitant in giving it a try before I read all the positive reviews on Goodreads. Point is: If any ya’ll are considering not reading Freshman Year and Other Natural Disasters only because the entire plot is about a freshman doing freshmanish things, give it a try. Freshmanish things are surprisingly fun. So are freshmen. Yay freshmen! Freshman Year and Other Natural Disasters never tries to downplay freshman. It’s great book even for really old people, like seniors.


       Expanding on my positive outburst on the subject of freshmen (ehem, “Yay freshmen!”), Kelsey Finkelstein is my hyperbolic hero. Every other sentence in Kelsey’s mind Must Be Exaggerated. And that makes me love her, like, 289.34 times more. If I was as bubbly as Kelsey, I think I would’ve leaped through the ceiling by now. Reading Freshman Year and Other Natural Disasters made me cheerful by osmosis.

            Five stars is greatly deserved.

The Fine Art of Truth or Dare by Melissa Jensen

Ella Marino knows three things to be true. One: Edward Willing, a skillful painter, is meant to be her everlasting soul mate. Two: Edward Willing has been dead for almost a century—and not in the sexy vampire way. Nope, he’s dead dead. Three: Ella Marino has more chance of getting a date with the late Edward Willing than she has of being noticed by the living, popular, and possibly nice, Alex Bainbridge.




Unless Ella happens to be taking French . . . and failing it, which she is. Apparently, being an Italian-American does not give Ella mad French skills as her French teacher wishes to believe. And unless Alex just happens to tutor French, which he does (must be all those summers abroad). Then maybe they have a chance.



The Fine Art of Truth or Dare has so much worthwhile humor. Ella’s thought process, family stories, and seemingly useless knowledge make the book. After reading The Fine Art of Truth or Dare, I am convinced that everyone deserves a crazy Uncle Ricky to continually audition for Top Chef. Uncle Ricky doesn’t play a big role, but his mentions in The Fine Art of Truth or Dare make the reader feel at home in the incredible Marino family. Ohh that Ricky . . . life just wouldn’t be the same without him.



But the humor is also one of the reasons why I give this book four stars instead of five. As the official opposite of a pop culture junkie, The Sopranos, “Freddie Krueger,” and other pop culture references make no sense to me. (But, seriously, who is this . . . “Freddie Krueger?”) Pop culture junkies, rejoice: your vast understanding of vague television and movie references will finally be put to good use. The references aren’t enough to make the book unreadable to non-pop culture fans, but by the sixth random television reference I was starting to feel a little annoyed.



Ella Marino is not a normal character, but she’s odd in a good way. How many YA main characters are there with a love for fine art and an aptitude for truth or dare? NONE. I love reading about a main character who is still pretty normal, but has his or her own unique hobbies and loves. I was happily surprised by Ella’s amazing family—no overused absentee parents here. All members are present and loving. Also over-the-top funny. Ella’s superstitious grandma’s speeches are probably my favorite parts in the book. I love her family’s differentness from other families I read about.


I grant The Fine Art of Truth or Dare four figstars.


This review may also be found on Figment.com

Book titles

       I judge books based on their titles. When people ask me what I’m reading (that rarely happens, but in this case I’m going to pretend I’m inquired about that daily), I want to say, “Oh, yes, I am currently reading Straw House, Wood House, Brick House, Blow by Daniel Nayeri (I bought the book after lovingly memorizing the title. I couldn’t manage to finish the first chapter, but reading the title aloud still fills me with unspeakable joy. Bad books shouldn’t be allowed to tease people with good book names).” I do not want to say, “yup, girrlzz, I’m totes in the middle of The Death of Dark Blood’s Kiss by Made-up StupidName.” There isn’t a book with that exact embarrassing-to-be-seen-reading name, but after much random Google searching I have discovered a book by the name of Born of Blood and Retribution, the third book in The Dark Kiss Trilogy by Liz Strange. Born of Blood and Retribution may be a positively lovely tale of birthing, blood, and the retribution against the birthing of the blood; in fact, in Goodreads averages it four stars. Because of the name, I will never know.

        I’ve made two lists, one for my top five favorite types of book titles and top four most dreaded types of book titles. My lists are in order of the worst of the best book titles to the best of the best. I wish more list makers would do that; it adds wonderful suspense. (“Ohhh if THAT was his/her worst best favorite title then what is his/her SECOND worst best favorite title?!” Please do not tell me I am alone on loving that.)



5. Books with random words that don’t normally go together.

Examples: Imaginary Girls by Nova Ren Suma or The Twin’s Daughter by Lauren Baratz-Logsted

The words “imaginary girls” isn’t something anyone hears or thinks too often... unless you happen to possess multiple imaginary girlfriends. Then those words may enter your consciousness quite often. If you are not a proud owner of multiple imaginary girlfriends or the happy daughter of a twin, the words are new and interesting. I think I made up and memorized a song to the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” where the only lyrics were, “The imaginary girls are the twin’s daughters.”









4. The “of” books.

Examples: Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor, The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson, Five Flavors of Dumb by Antony John

I don’t have a reason for liking “of” books except I like the fancy ring to it. “Salutations, uneducated one. You may refer to me as the Duke of Awesome”












3. Good name books

Examples: The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin or The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson

This can also be considered a category of “of” books, but since I am also going to have another category of bad name books later, I thought this was appropriate. Right off a character and the characters defining thing is clear. I immediately know from the start that, hey, this chick’s name is Mara Dyer and this book is about her intriguing process of unbecoming.











2. Known phrases of cool on books

Examples: Drink, Slay, Love by Sarah Beth Durst or She’s So Dead to Us by Kieran Scott

Hmmm... Drink, Slay, Love. Wonder where I’ve heard that before... Eat, Pray, Love. OHHHH. THE CLEVER IS OVERCOMING MEE. It just feels good to see something familiar once in a while.














1. Dependant clauses or phrases as titles

Examples: If I Stay by Gayle Forman, or Between the Sea and the Sky by Jaclyn Dolamore

This is where I go all ninja and use my ninth-grade grammar skills on y’all. (Side note: Isn’t it pathetic that I’ve only started learning the most basic grammatical things in 9th grade? And only the most basic skills. I’m sure my posts are still ridden with vague grammatical crimes against nature.) It’s fun to ask “what” sometimes. What does happen if she stays? Does she turn into a butterfly? Eat brown guacamole? What is between the sky and the sea? Dirt? Hand sanitizer? I may never know. Unless, of course, I read the book.

The Boy Project by Kami Kinard

Kara McAllister has a problem. Already in the eighth grade, and she’s never had a boyfriend. Most other girls in Kara’s school have boyfriends–why shouldn’t Kara? How can Kara snag herself a boyfriend? She launches an ingenious research project—The Boy Project–to answer all her burning guy-related questions.

Using her middle school science fair as a cover, Kara puts together a notebook full of notes, graphs, and observations on the opposite sex. But after all that scientific research, one question still remains: will Kara ever get boyfriend?



Reading The Boy Project is like reading a run-on text from a bubbly best friend. Not in the, “hi, I lik 2 tpe lik dis” sense. More in the uplifting and easy to get caught up in sense. Kara’s humor and hyper thoughts make her an easily likeable character, as does her clueless naivety. At one point, Kara decides her soul mate is an Abercrombie employee because he smiles at her. Poor little Kara. So much to learn.



The only thing that bothers me about The Boy Project is . . . err . . . the subject of The Boy Project: eighth grade boyfriends. I don’t want to be like one of those people who say Twilight makes feeble-minded and impressionable thirteen-year-old girls everywhere go out and get into relationships with sparkly, possibly psychopathic boyfriends. But—sorry about this—isn’t the middle grade audience intended (around sixth grade) going to feel a bit boy-pressured? A year ago, when I was in middle school, almost no one had a boyfriend. Only a few Maybellines (“popular” children) and Vines (clingy, eyeliner-wearing children) bothered to. Middle school feels way too early to start obsessing over boys. I know that it’s probably a non-issue. Middle grade readers should be smart enough to tell a fun, light-hearted read from something to actually take seriously—but it did give me a moment’s pause.



The Boy Project gets four and a half stars!

This review is also posted on the amazing figment.com.

First book club meeting

School book club. My first time going to a book club -- ever. I had expectations of meeting people as awkward an book obsessed as I. The book we planned to discuss was Everlost. I envisioned sitting at a circular table, rolling around in a professional-looking rolley-chair, and having a spirited debate on Mary's creepiness factor.

But no.


Our chairs were stationary and our tables square.

We started the meeting by eating gummy snacks. Not just any gummy snacks, but organic fruit gummy snacks with no artificial colors. I highly recommend them. They tasted kinda like fruit juice but harder to swallow.

The first topic of discussion was pondering of what would happen if quicksand became a deadspot. Then we, meaning the three out of six people there who actually read Everlost, came up with a scenario about someone who would love quicksand enough for it to come back as a deadspot.

Five minutes pass.

Next topic of discussion: the goodness doughnut sandwiches. Result: decent enough if no mayonnaise is added.

Twenty minutes pass.

Random person while looking at watch:

"Well, I have to leave now. Bye"

Other person:

"Yeah, me too."

Me:

"Yeah..."

Success!

 Err... somewhat. The food was good. The people who came-- although shining examples of typical introverted bookworms-- managed to keep up conversations that were easy and fun to jump into. I only felt confused as to the lack of book topics. I don't know how the others felt about that; I know I wanted to keep the book conversations going, but being the one to initiate and keep the book-talk going could turn embarrassing fast if the other self-proclaimed bookwormies aren't as bookwormie as to want to really talk about every aspect of a book. Anyways, whatever we talked about, I liked. Are all book clubs like that? Minimal book-speak?  

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

Summary- Around the world, black handprints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky.
In a dark and dusty shop, a devil's supply of human teeth grown dangerously low.

And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherwordly war.

Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real; she's prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands"; she speaks many languages--not all of them human; and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out.

When one of the strangers--beautiful, haunted Akiva--fixes his fire-colored eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

Thankful for... Mammoth

   

 At first the contest had me confused. Thankful? There wasn't a particular book that immediately came to mind. Nothing had an impact earth-shattering enough for me to remember instantly. And, just sayin', I'm not a fan of anything Narnia although Turkish Delights sound heavenly. The Narnia book series has always sounded like it would be better read aloud to a gaggle of poor stuffed geese by an aloof, elderly English man. Not that I discriminate against aloof, elderly English men who pass lonely, lonely days reading aloud to a gaggle of stuffed geese. Much. The movie was surprisingly good, but I ending up falling asleep during the hour-long fight scene.

      I had to dig through my bookshelf to find a book I had almost but not quite forgotten about. Mammoth by John Varley was my Narnia. It was a just-because present from my college broke sister. I was ten, and I knew Mammoth was probably going to be a  face-palmer. The tip-offs?

1. The only books my sister ever reads are Serious Books. One bored weekend in her apartment, I found myself learning all about the joys of feminism in a concise work of literature topping a thousand pages. My sister had read over and highlighted the most important bits. Fun stuff.
2. The book in question was purchased new for a dollar.
3. I was ten. Mammoth was meant to be read by adults.

     Oh, yeah. Ten-year-old me had major skills of deductive reasoning. But my skills had failed me. Mammoth was good. While I was right about some scenes being too old for me (what did Matt and Susan mean when they said making love? Why did they lay down together? So. Many. Questions.), the parts that made sense opened my mind up to the possibilities of the good in bigger, more complex books. Mammoth helped me to branch out and find worth while middle-grade books leading me to become my obviously awesome bibliophile self. : D 

  

   

Drink, Slay, Love by Sarah Beth Durst

 

That's some crazy drink right there...

When Pearl, a bloodthirsty, teenage vampire, unexpectedly gets stabbed by a rainbow-tooting wereunicorn, she develops the ability to be out in the sunlight. It's a helpful ability when trying to lure in humans to be oh, I don't know, feasted on in an age-old king's coming of age ceremony. Lucky for Pearl's vampire family, the honored host of this event, Pearl has gained her Daywalker status in time to be of some use. There is one problem the Family did not anticipate getting in the way. The problem being Pearl starting to think maybe, just maybe she would much rather be with her forbidden human crush than become a mass murderess. Gaining a conscience can be a bitch.
  I didn't know whether to place Drink, Slay, Love by Sarah Beth Durst on the top of my reading list or the bottom. So, to work through this little dilemma of mine, I made a pros and cons list:

CONS 

• Vampire. The only vampire for me is a academy vampire. None others can possibly compare. If I find a vampire that can even halfway measure up to Rose's tendency to be kick-butt amazing, I'll eat one of these.
• As awesome as I think the cover is, the general population of my school would think it's creepy-looking and inevitably ask me what Drink, Slay, Love is about. It's an example if a deplorable situation for all ya'll PSAT takers. I will use the phrase "stabbed by a wereunicorn" in my summary, and either the person will think "wereunicorn" is as awesome a word as I do, or said person will blink very slowly then leave me. Alone. Forever. Not fun.

PROS

• Drink, Slay, Love is by SARAH BETH DURST. SARAH BETH DURST. I am love with Enchanted Ivy's blend of supernatural and sarcasm.
•  Wereunicorn. Even as a young child, I had always known that my goal in life was to be one-third unicorn, one-third human, and one-third owl. A wereunicorn is, like, two-thirds closer to my goal.

         The choice finally got made for me when I got sent a review copy. (Thanks, Sarah Beth Durst!)

The characters of Drink, Slay, Love all have the personality and spunk I love, even the villains.  Matt, wannabe vampire hunter, video-game lover, my favorite, has a quirky make-ya-wanna-smile response for everything and so do the others. It was impossible to discreetly read Drink, Slay, Love-- I had a perpetual smile going on the entire book.

          And Pearl... (I do not wish to eat a bug...) passes the Rose test. Although she keeps her sarcastic attitude the whole way through, it made me happy and somewhat giggly to spot the subtle changes in Pearl's thoughts and actions that signified her new found conscience.

    I give Drink, Slay, Love five stars. THIS is a book I can read over again.

Carrier of the Mark by Leigh Fallon

All Megan wants when she moves to Ireland is to fit in. But this seems unlikely when she catches the attention of the famously anti-social, famously hot Adam DeRis. Megan knows she has a connection with Adam from first glance. But what Megan doesn’t know is that Adam is one of the four rare Carriers of the Mark—and so is she. Able to control one of the four elements, she and the other three Carriers are in constant danger from those who wish to control them. The fear of being captured and exploited might be bearable if Megan had Adam to comfort her, but an ancient prophecy foretells great destruction if two Carriers ever get together.

The relationship between Adam and Megan is, in my opinion, unbelievable and slightly clichéd. Adam has perfected his Edward Cullen stalker gaze, and he shares Edward’s propensity for confessions of deep and undying love in the early stages of casual dating. Although, technically, Adam and Megan are secretly spying stalking keeping tabs on one another for a while before that first date, so I guess he knows her well enough.

Although the madly-in-love-at-first-sight type of romance is overdone and flinch-worthy, the ultimate let down is the star-crossed lover aspect. Here’s the thing: If Adam and Megan have a baby, then the world will implode. Great twist, right? Who cares that they’re still in high school? Who cares that they’ve only been dating for a few months? Their relationship will undoubtedly lead to babies. Multiple babies. Yep, this is the type of paranormal YA novel where talking about baby making and the earth’s ultimate demise as one in the same is a major plot point.
The Carrier if the Mark reminds me in plot and characters of Hourglass, Hush, Hush, and The Seven Rays. If you like those books, I would recommend trying The Carrier of the Mark. But if you’re not a die-hard paranormal romance fan, there’s nothing spectacular about the formulaic romance to make The Carrier of the Mark stand out in the vast genre of YA paranormal fiction.